The Seventh McNugget

We all can't be one of the Six.

01 August 2005

The Kamin Law Is In Effect

Ok, to give my new blog authenticity and credibility behind the statement that I am the same brilliant author of Intellect's Antonyms, I hereby give you this post:

The Kamin Law of Bathroom Stall Behavior.

(see, if i went three posts without a toilet post, it wouldn't really be me!)

This law goes into effect the very moment that I step into a public bathroom and remains in effect until I step out of a public bathroom. Violation of this law may result in a moose-teabag.

Premise: Though not an enforcable ordinance, all people are highly discouraged from even entering the bathroom when Kamin is in it. Kamin is a lone ranger. He doesn't need a sidekick to "drop a dusty".

Article i: Kamin will always pick an end stall. It is your civic duty (ha.. duty) to select the FURTHEST stall away from Kamin. The act of unnecessarily chosing a stall closer to Kamin is unacceptable. Unnecessarily choosing the stall RIGHT NEXT to Kamin is downright gay. If the only empty stall is right next to Kamin... TOUGH COOKIES. Prairie-dog it until I'm finished.

Article ii: No grunting. Kamin does not need verbal clues as to the level of difficulty you are experiencing.

Article iii: Farting out loud should be avoided. There are ways to "whisper down the lane" so Kamin doesn't have to listen to your colon sing. The two-hit "Grunt-then-fart" combos are completely unacceptable.

And that's it! The Kamin Law. It's not really that complicated. Stay away and keep your DANG audible body processes to yourself.

I work among some of the greatest minds in Science... and then they can't figure out the Kamin Law.


At 9:34 AM, Blogger Stan said...

How many signiatures do you need for ratification? Count me in.

At 10:47 AM, Blogger The K Man said...

UPDATE! Today I walked in the bathroom and there were two guys right next to each other with three other empty stalls around them. That reeks of gayness to me.

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Kate said...

I work among some of the greatest minds in Science... and then they can't figure out the Kamin Law.

I, too, work with some of the greatest minds in science. And they can't even manage to match their shirts with their pants. So I wouldn't hold out too much hope for the bathroom.

At 2:11 PM, Blogger Stan said...

Matching always was a challenge? I think the problem is that fashion doesn't have hardfast rules to study and memorize. It's ever changing. Smart people don't do well with change.

At 2:12 PM, Blogger Stan said...

Oh and you fashionable people reading this and wondering...I'll give you a little hand figuring out what I just said. I called you stupid. Can you spell stupid? ;)


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